Monday Mindfulness Minute: Trying to Live a Dead Certain Life is Dead

“But to take the gamble out of the game, to try to make winning a dead certainty, is to achieve a certainty which is indeed dead.” The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

March is one of my favorite months because of the NCAA basketball tournaments. This time of the year is aptly named March Madness because of the variability of the games and the uncertainty of which teams will advance. Madness here is almost synonymous with enjoyment because the more uncertain the tournament is the more fun it is for us to watch.

While all of the top seeds advanced to the Final Four this year, there was still a fair share of upsets along the way, with most of the top teams being pushed to the edge of defeat at least once. The general uncertainty is why millions of people continue to tune in each year and why it has become a "cash cow" for the NCAA.

The same holds true for movies, TV dramas, and other sports; their greatness lies in their ability to leave us on the edge of our seats because of the accompanied chaos of not knowing the ending. How many good movies have been ruined by reading the associated Wikipedia before or by a friend spoiling the twist? Is the main character really going to die? Is the underdog going to make a miraculous run to the Championship Game?

Would we actually watch and fully enjoy the show/sport/movie if the ending was a foregone conclusion or too predictable? Absolutely not. Yet, it seems that a foregone conclusion life is exactly what we chase day after day. Why is it so difficult to enjoy the twists and turns of everyday life when that's what we seek in "reality" TV and other forms of entertainment (I'm not preaching to you, I'm preaching to myself)?

It is within our power to approach the uncertainty in our lives with the same enjoyment and suspense that we seek in "reality" TV and sports. I know at times it feels like we could finally enjoy life if we could just get the script and know how it's going to turn out, but we know in the back of our heads that we would be bored with that and would then give anything to have a single twist or turn. Similar to riding a rollercoaster, we can either try to enjoy the chaotic coaster of life with our hands raised, or we can clench our fists on the lap bar and scream for our lives until the ride is over.

Monday Mindfulness Minute: Trust The Inner Stability of Gratitude

"When the big things feel out of control focus on what you love right under your nose." - The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse

I've always had awful external balance. No matter the activity—rollerblading, skateboarding, or ice skating—they all seem to end with the same result: me on the ground. That's probably why I laugh when I see YouTube videos of people slipping on ice; it makes me feel a little less alone about my lack of balance (come on, I know you laugh at them too).

As it turns out, the mind at times can be more unstable and slippery than any amount of ice we find ourselves on outside. We all know what internal slipping feels like: we are completely fine enjoying our day when out of nowhere one of the 70,000 thoughts that usually floats by seems to stick. This thought could range from why we did something 10 years ago to what will happen in 2 years if we make x or y decision and anything in between. While this sticking thought may seem harmless, like the first blanket of snow on a road, it can quickly solidify as we think about it more and more ("Neurotic behavior is sometimes defined as a frozen pattern." Awakening the Buddha Within). Before we know it, we can completely slip away from the now to the land of illusions.

So how do we return to solid ground when we feel ourselves slipping on thoughts inside? If only there were an internal lifeline we could grab a hold of to steady ourselves when we get lost in the past or future. As it turns out there is. That lifeline is gratitude.

Gratitude isn't thinking about what could have been or could be but an appreciation for what is right in front of us. The tree we see outside our window. The coworker we chat with every day at work. The body that gives us the opportunity to experience any of this.

The power of gratitude lies in its ability to help us return to the present moment and appreciate what we have "right under our noses" (as the quote at the beginning states). While gratitude for the "big" things in life is great, finding gratitude for the "smallest" (aka the most under-appreciated) things helps me get back on my feet the quickest. An example of one of the "small" things is the breath. If I'm able to see myself slipping, acknowledging and having gratitude for this breath never fails to re-balance me in the present.

While at first, we may only turn to gratitude when we notice ourselves slipping into the unchangeable past or unknowable future, it eventually becomes a life practice that is always there to help us thaw a thought that starts to stick. We make the decision every day of whether we want to spend our life off-balance on the ice of mind, or whether we practice gratitude and return to the child-like enjoyment of splashing in puddles of thoughts that appear but never quite solidify.

Monday Mindfulness Minute: Treat your inner weather like outer weather

"... like the weather, what you think is unpredictable and subject to change." Awakening the Buddha Within p 82

Weather and meteorology have fascinated me since I was a child. My parents joked for the longest time that they thought I would grow up to be a weatherman because when a storm would roll in I would head outside to provide my stormchaser analysis. It wasn't until I was much older that I began to notice that inner weather seemed to have as much if not more impact on my life than outer weather.

I have found it increasingly useful to think of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that arise inside as nothing more than internal weather with characteristics similar to the weather we experience outside. As it turns out, so much of what we find in nature outside is reflected inside each of us, and here are just a few of the ways our inner and outer weather relate:

1. Temporary: Has there ever been a rainstorm that has lasted for more than a few hours or days? The same goes for our thoughts, feelings, or emotions. We should experience them fully while they are with us but should rest in the knowledge that whether good or bad, they aren't going to last.

2. No need to figure out why: Just as there are countless reasons why outer weather is the way it is, there are just as many reasons why we think and feel a certain way inside. Of course, there may be an opportunity to get down to the root cause of why we feel a certain way if it lingers, but more often than not our thinking about and trying to figure out why we feel or think a certain way just amplifies the issues.

3. Know where your storm shelter is: What is the top thing meteorologists tell us to do if a tornado is near? "Get to an interior room of your house and get as low as possible." The same goes for us. We must know that when we are triggered or extremely upset about something, we must find a solid point within us that we can rest in without wreaking havoc outside like a tornado would. Usually, this inner storm shelter is a place where we can just be quiet and not say anything until the storm passes over.